Whatever your relationships status, there are few thrills better than receiving a dirty message from your lover, maybe it’s one reminding you of a previous evening of torrid delights, or perhaps it’s one promising a similar evening to come. But tapping out that saucy text can sometimes be difficult to phrase just right without sounding awkward. So how best to describe those bedroom fantasies?

To be frank, men are often more likely to want sexy photos, they’re creatures of simple pleasures, but why not try making sexting a little more intriguing, instead of sending that dick pic, or the cheeky bum photo, why not try and craft a more sensual, sexy story?

There’s a lot of dos and don’ts for writing erotica, whatever the medium, whether it’s a Whatsapp missive, or a fully fleshed out short story by email, or even better, a hand written tale on fine paper delivered by the postman. Here’s some tips to help fuel those filthy fantasies, and get it right.

To begin with, forget all those versions of sexuality and erotica that are thrust upon us by the media, advertising, and especially porn, ignore the assumptions of superficiality and perfection, and write from the heart, and write about what you know about yourself, and your partner.

Bring the same attention to writing about sex as you would to anything else you would write. Good grammar and spelling just show an attention to detail, and the care and love (and lust) you have put to your erotic epic. The mind is the largest erogenous zone, so appeal to his/her intelligence, tastes, and desires.

Skip the euphemisms! No more does anyone want to read about his ‘hard hot rod’, ‘throbbing member’, or his ‘proud member’, neither do we want to hear about her ‘mound’, ‘love tunnel’, or any other ridiculous ’50 Shades Of Grey’ silliness. Similarly, going the complete other way and using cold clinical descriptions can leave you, well… flaccid.

Less is more, so avoid overly descriptive, blow-by-blow (no pun intended) acts of sex. It’s not the actual mechanics that make it engaging and interesting, it more about the emotional dynamics, the mood, and setting the scene.

Remember to use all your senses for maximum effect to describe a scene. The curve of her hip, the scent of his aftershave, the sound of rain on the window, the taste of her lips, the feel of his coarse hands at her throat. It’s such details that add to the sense of immediacy, gives the tale presence and context.

Use your imagination, and should your partner have ever told you about any particular fantasies, weave them in to the story. If you’re turned on while writing it, that’s excellent. If you’re not, it’s unlikely he or she will be either. If you can write it like it genuinely excites you, it will show in the writing, and will draw the reader in. Be brave, and don’t hold back.

It’s not meant to be perfect either, make it fun, and absolutely add a good dose of humour. If you can make your partner laugh while also turning them on, then you will earn all the brownie points you could ever hope for! Be brave, and don’t hold back. 

You might want to consider adding a link to a wish list with Saucy Boutique, just in case your partner wants to buy that leather bondage gear you’ve been describing!

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