If you've been fantasising about introducing adult toys into your bedroom activities with your partner, then it can be tricky territory to navigate. If you're lucky, you'll already have an open and frank dialogue with your partner on the subject of your shared sexual desires, but otherwise, you run the risk of making your partner feel uncomfortable.
The worry is that, regardless of your partner's gender, they may take the suggestion of introducing sex toys into your relationship as a sign that you find their body inadequate, whether that's on that ever-tricky question of size, or just what how they 'perform' in the bedroom. But, for most people, sex toys aren't about replacing what their partner has, but supplementing foreplay to improve the overall quality of both of your sexual experiences. So, how is best to have this conversation if it's never come up before? Here are some ideas courtesy of Metro.co.uk.
Before you try to initiate the conversation, it's best to do a little preparation. Rehearse what you want to say and how you want to say it to avoid it coming out wrong when you do bring it up. However, reciting it like a script may also give the impression you have been overly plotting this conversation for a while, which may also but them on the defensive. Make the focus of the conversation the mutual benefits of introducing toys into the bedroom, rather than focussing on yourself and your needs. How would it feel for them too?
An easier way into the conversation could be to ask whether they've used them before, as long as you're happy to hear the answer that is! This puts out the idea that you have a curiosity about the idea, without coming on too strong with the idea.
If you want to avoid the conversation, and play a bit more of the long game, you could also consider giving your partner a sex toy gift for Christmas, their birthday or Valentine's Day, alongside their other presents. Though it may be a toy that is only for use on them, this introduces toys into the bedroom in general, and you'll no doubt enjoy helping them to use it. It also sets a precedent that means you or your partner can introduce more toys, and ones that you want to use, later down the line.
The key thing that you may want to hammer home is that it's not in any way intended to replace your partner, whether that's through words or actions. Talk to them about trying something new, whether you or your partner have ever used them before, and it should become a lot more appealing to a conversation. Avoid using them alone, unless you've had a conversation about this first, as your partner may feel you're using the toys instead of engaging with them.
And just remember, it's perfectly healthy and good for a sexual relationship to use adult toys, so don't feel bad about the idea – if you come at the conversation with confidence, your partner is more likely to respond in the same like, and you could be shopping online for your first purchase of vibrating eggs together in no time at all.