German bomb squad officers have confirmed that a ‘Second World War hand grenade’ found by a jogger in woodland was, in fact, a rubber sex toy.

The Guardian reports that a female jogger discovered the suspicious device in a clear plastic bag in a Bavarian Forest outside Passau, close to the borders of Austria and the Czech Republic. German police rushed to the scene, fearing it could be an unexploded WWII hand grenade from a forgotten stash of weaponry.

However, on closer inspection, bomb squad officers determined that the suspected explosive device was nothing but ‘a dummy made of rubber’, which only posed the risk of explosive orgasms.

“To the relief of all involved, the police officers were quickly able to give the all-clear after arriving at the forest property,” a police spokesperson told the German news agency DPA on Tuesday 27 April.

The discovery of forgotten or hidden WWII munitions and weapons is still a regular occurrence in Germany, but seeing as the recent discovery was found alongside condoms and an empty tube of lube, it quickly became apparent that not all was initially as it seemed.

“An internet search confirmed the suspicion,” Bavarian police said in a statement. “There are indeed sex toys in the form of hand grenades, and that was the kind of thing we were dealing with here.”

Authorities have now taken over the disposal of items, but police are somehow still struggling to understand how and why they were left in the secluded woodland spot.

“Due to the advanced decomposition of the bag, the items had probably been there for some time,” they said. “How these items got there and why they were left there is anyone’s guess.”

We’re sure there are some plausible scenarios we can think of, but we’ll leave that one to the authorities!

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